no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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