woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
