I will die if light touches me.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
