you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
