i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
try to milk me bitch
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