Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
