i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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