he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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