apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
