a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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