Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
