there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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