do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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