AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
