why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
