My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
