My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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