you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
