i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Randomize
