I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
