After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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