I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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