1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
