Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
