I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
