I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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