I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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