I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
