he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
