Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
