How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
