DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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