I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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