I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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