how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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