I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
