um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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