u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
