We should be called the Road Head Warriors
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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