Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
