dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
