yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
