Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
