Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
