what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
