id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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