dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
