I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
