I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
