I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
