I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
All I want is dick and wine.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
